Good Gravy … spirituality is hard … not for the faint of heart

 to really get into self is a hard, scary death defying act of courage  … to take away the pretend mirror, which you always looked at yourself through and look at the reality of you  …

I am so fascinated with the science of the brain, the process and origin of thought  … the spirituality of humanity … I now know with out a doubt I can never even get close to knowing those answers without really knowing self and how those questions can be answered in my own life …

Me the “alleged mystic” … bull shit … this is a title given by those who have no freak’n clue as to what it means to be human, so how can they know what it is to be spiritual … they cannot see the seen, how can they see the unseen …

What I am is a person with a very curious mind … blunt in nature …emotionally damaged in many ways  … I am fast witted and can out talk most and out think many (not bragging just stating fact) all those traits given to me by God  … Yet I am a person so emotionally damaged at a young age my brain never allowed itself to care about formal education, it was to busy processing the environment to keep me safe …

 many priests could not deal with me … I figuratively ate them alive emotionally and theologically …  … having a broad knowledge of things (again by grace)   I took delight in verbally and psychologically slam dunking a few priests along the way, those who I knew where abusive to others or corrupt … I might still do such things to a priest who abused a child  … I  think of them as snakes and demons and as such they are fair game to be verbally or emotionally slain  …after all they had a blatant disregard for their victims ... and what I do to them here on earth is nothing what will be done to them,  by God ... 

so maybe on some level my ripping into them is a mercy ... as if to say ... as bad as she is ... she is nothing compared to what you will be given to you before the throne of God ... so fess up and sin no more (not just in a confessional but to the public)  you wicked hierarchy... compensate your victims ... sell everything  you have and give to the poor,  which at this point is all of us ... for you made a mockery of our faith!  

Spirituality is not becoming a doormat to others and it is not to remain silent while others suffer and are hurt  ... spirituality is the direct opposite ... you defend the poor, the injured, the abused and you call out the abusers ... Hey Jesus did ...